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A New Home and a New URL and a New Post!

July 31, 2013 Leave a comment

Six subscribers can’t be wrong!  I’ve recently given Party and State a new home at, please update your subscriptions and make sure you head over to see the spanking new website!  Here’s a new post to celebrate –

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Soft Power and Chinese Cinema

July 28, 2013 Leave a comment

Someone, somewhere in the Beijing higher ups has decided that The Thing that’ll get China onto the world map is making a load of really, really cool movies that show the country in the best possible light.  In the same way that (I’m told) Hollywood and it’s related nonsensical chic is lusted after in the west.  To really complete the PR package, China needs to be seen on the big screen.

While speeches that go on for hours and endless meetings are winners if you want to get ahead in Chinese society, the movers and shakers in China’s recent soft-power drive have realized that promoting China just by putting a few very old things in a museum doesn’t actually resonate with your average foreigner.  To really win the foreign hearts and minds, you need to find something that’s the equivalent of Bruce Willis running around in a dirty vest.

Chinese movies don’t do well overseas – at least when they don’t follow the Zhang Yimou schtick of brightly coloured action sequences filmed at varying speeds.  Recent exports from China have produced nothing more than a whimper at the US box office.  When the low-budget sleeper hit Lost in Thailand debuted in America, it didn’t even come close replicating it’s runaway success that it had in China.  The film, a feel-good comedy about an ambitious executive trying to negotiate and important deal with his boss in Thailand, proved that dealing with contemporary issues in Chinese cinema can be both censor and box-office friendly – the film managed to beat out James Cameron’s Avatar in ticket sales, taking $200 million on it’s $2.2 million budget.  Conversely, proving the adage that comedy never travels well, the film bombed in the US, managing a paltry $88000 upon it’s release.

So alienated are audiences from the Chinese propaganda machine that a recent biopic of idolized revolutionary soldier Lei Feng failed to sell one single ticket in it’s opening weekend.  When a film celebrating the founding of the People’s Republic was released, mandarins put all other releases on hold, and even resorted to faking ticket returns in order to generate buzz.  Needless to say that with all the Iron Mans and Kung Fu Pandas, both of these expensive failures by the Chinese government have sunk without a trace to the bargain DVD bin.

Which is the reason, you may have noticed, that you’ve been finding bits of China in your blockbuster.  Hollywood pap is the quite possibly the best vehicle for promoting Chinese pap, mostly because they don’t do things like contemplate human rights, or civil liberties, and they focus on pleasing as many people as possible in order to extract as much money as possible from people who enjoy watching famous people walking away from big explosions.

The big draw for American movie producers is that while Chinese people have a lot of money, or, at the very least, there’s a lot of Chinese people will little bits of money that add up to one big bit of money.  The problem is that the movie industry is pretty much monopolized by the government, so it’s prudent business sense that no one tries to market a movie that will hurt the feelings of the Chinese people.  Of course, you could argue that Chinese people complaining about how Chinese people always seem to be the bad guys in movies is kind of like Auschwitz prisoners complaining about pickpockets in the shower room, this is soft power we’re talking about here.

Sucking up the Chinese government so that your movie gets approved for distribution is one way of trying to get your hands on the slice of entertainment pie – only 34 foreign movies are approved every year and your movie has to be the suckiest in order to get a screen at the local multiplex.  Another way of getting seen in the mainland would be to do the co-investment thing, whereupon a state-run Chinese film production company gives you money in exchange for positive exposure on the big screen.  This second option has the added benefit of side-stepping the quota, since it’s a co-production, it’s no longer seen as being a foreign import.

Selling out artistic credibility in order to please shareholders is never going to go down well with the libertarian lefties, even when you pull out a Powerpoint presentation and try to explain in simple language that Iron Man 3 isn’t really about artistic credibility, it’s about getting Robert Downey, Jr’s kids through college.  The movie industry has been called out for pandering to the whims of the Chinese government, without grasping the idea that American movies are doing pretty badly in the Chinese marketplace.  On it’s release in China, Mission Impossible 3 held the number one spot for a mighty 23 weeks, yet in the past year, the market share for American movies has dropped 65%, with domestically produced romantic comedies and feel-good buddy flicks trouncing Hollywood efforts at the box office.

In a final testament to the place that cinema holds in the push for soft-power, the Chinese government recently spend $13 million turning swampland outside Tianjin into a square kilometer of housing, office space, state-of-the-art computer facilities for CG animation and special effects and a cavernous complex of film studios.  The rebound in Chinese cinema removes a multitude of headaches for the government.  The stars are less likely to go on human rights crusades, like our dear friend Christian Bale did, fighting his way to see dissident lawyer Chen Guang Chen in his village, and the films are more likely to promote the China and the values that the Chinese government desperately wants promoted.


The Plight of North Korean Women in China

June 20, 2013 Leave a comment

70% of the North Korean refugees that make the perilous journey across the Tumen River to China are women. Once in China refugees are targeted by pimps and brokers specializing in human trafficking. The trade in human trafficking of North Korean sex workers starts with brokers who patrol the Tumen River – and the North Koreans who end up living sham marriages with Chinese-Koreans are well aware of the fate that awaits them    When interviewed for a report by the Committee for Human Rights in North Korea, many women did not only confirm that they knew of what would probably happen to them once they reached China, but were able to quote current prices that marriage and labor brokers were going to sell them for.

In this series of remarkable interviews with North Korean women, the Committee for Human Rights in North Korea has gathered together first hand accounts of the rampant human trafficking network that is operating along the Chinese border. Ms Lee tells of her not untypical story of how she ended up in China: “One day in August 2003, I was deceived by a North Korean woman who later turned out to be a trafficker. She told me she would find a decent job in China for me. We crossed the border together and she took me to a house near the Tumen River. After staying in the city of Tumen in Yanbian for one week, I was sold to a Han Chinese man in Qitaihe for the price of 1,000 yuan”

The demand for North Korean brides is fueled by the growing gender gap in China. In rural China, the male-female ration can be as high as 14-1, China’s one child policy and the traditional preference for a male heir creating intense competition and a gap in the market for those seeking a better life across the border. Those who do make the journey, however, rarely find safety in China – thanks to legal twilight that the refugees find themselves trapped in.

Under two secret agreements brokered between China and North Korea, any North Korean refugees are sent back to their home country. Normally, under international law, such refugees would be considered refugee sur place, but the Chinese government has refused the UN to officially designate them as such – openly defying the treaties that it signed up to when China joined the UN. In North Korea, the “reformed” penal code means that forced abortions are often performed on women pregnant with the children of Chinese fathers – why should precious resources should be wasted on the children of fathers who aren’t even Korean?

The Chinese government treats the North Koreans and economic refugees, but once they have been sent back home to face trial, the refugees are treated as political prisoners, and are tried as such. Because of their lack of legal protection in China, the North Korean women are often physically and sexually abused with absolutely no legal protection – except what can be bought with bribes to the local authorities. Chinese law says that to even provide food and shelter to a North Korean is punishable by heavy fines, so even those sympathetic to their plight cannot provide protection for long.

“After I lived with the Chinese man for about one month, I realized that he was trying to re-sell me to someone else,” a refugee only identified as “Ms. Lee” told Human Rights Watch North Korea, “He complained that I couldn’t speak any Chinese. I ran away from the house, not knowing where to go. Within a few hours, I was caught and brought back by the Chinese man. He took out his leather belt and whipped me on my back for about an hour. I got bruises and blood on my back and had severe pain. Later I cried in front of this man’s mother and opened a drawing book, pointing to an image of a bus. I tried to ask her to give me some money so that I could take a bus to leave the place”

Lack of any kind of sex education means that STDs and unwanted pregnancies are rife, due to their economic situations in the rural areas of Jilin, little can be done to treat infections, and back-alley abortions are common. “After moving in with the second man, I realized that I was pregnant from the previous one,” Ms Seok told an interviewer for the CHRNK report, “When my current husband and his family members found it out, they asked me to get an abortion. Even though I was already eight months pregnant, I was made to go through an operation at the hospital. I even saw the dead face of my baby when it was taken out of my womb”

The personal accounts that have been compiled show significant failings of two countries that conspire the diminish the basic human rights of North Korean women, and their families. It is telling indication of how far into nightmarish free-fall that North Korea as a country is. That working as a prostitute in the poorest areas of China, often suffering in a sham marriage, the North Koreans would consider this an improvement in their quality of life – prostitution and abuse being a necessary evil, preferable to their future in the hermit kingdom.

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Mixed Sex Education Messages From China

May 30, 2013 Leave a comment
I’m at the age where most of my friends are getting married.  It’s not really that depressing, but by the time that you hit 33 (as I will be this May), it becomes apparent that the number of women that are a) eligible, and b) my age is pretty small.  Many of those women are single for a reason, and because most of the single girls have been educated by TV shows and no-one else, it’s fair to say that by and large, not all of their dogs are barking.  On paper, I’m pretty much perfect – rich, vaguely decent looking (certainly slim by modern Chinese standards) and I have a government job.  Ok, I work for a university, but I don’t have to pay rent and all my meals are subsidized, leaving a fairly large monthly disposable income.  
The fact that I’m single is down to a number of factors.  The first is that I’m plainly no sleazy enough.  I do actually respect women, I find one night stands to be something quite pointless, and, as I get older, personality trumps the body.  Most of my contemporaries have pretty much the opposite view, you just needed to look at the crowds of confused men that scattered through the bars at Chao Yang West Gate in bewildered, pathetic groups when Maggies closed down in 2008 to see that.  Most of the girls are incredibly highly educated too, especially the ones that can speak English, and were probably learning French and German before they were on solids.  It’s hard to treat a woman who was being taught stuff about particle accelerators in the last year of high school, and the only reason that she didn’t complete a Phd was because she didn’t have enough time as some samey pick-up in a bar.  Especially when she takes time out to write haiku in the morning.  And then translate it into Finnish.  
In Japan there wasn’t much hope for me, since I really wanted to meet a girl who could engage me in a conversation, rather than nod and “mmm” in that annoyingly endearing way that Japanese women do, needless to say, I ended up with a Chinese girl instead.  
I had come to the rather racist conclusion that Chinese girls should stick to Chinese men, and Japanese girl should stick to Japanese men.  Chinese men have the right attitude, and it’s probably why I hate the vast majority of Chinese men that I have to come into contact with.  I simply don’t have the wherewithal to occasionally bring my bitch into line with a quick backhander, but I’m pretty sure that to a Chinese woman, three with the belt now and again, it’s perfectly normal.  I’m just not that assertive.  Culturally, a westerner doesn’t really tick all the subconcious boxes that a Chinese girl needs in order to commit to a long term relationship – most of the Japanese/western marriage that I knew about were falling apart, and the vast number of western/Chinese marriages that I know about aren’t happy ones, or have caused massive, irreparable rifts in at least one of the families.   
Despite the apparent hopelessness of my situation, I’m in a better position than most Chinese men.  Since most Chinese men are raised in families that have typically overbearing mothers and distant fathers, they don’t really have much in the way of a male role model.  Which is why a lot of them are single and desperate, and rather unable to converse on any level with a woman.  The bad news gets worse when the idea of “losing face” is added into the mix: the men can’t really have a girlfriend who is less qualified than they are, and since the women regularly beat the men academically, there’s a lot of single guys about.  
The situation has become so bad that people are advertising on the Internet.  Not to find a girlfriend, but to rent one out, especially over the Spring Festival where many of the guys go home only to be confronted with questions about when they plan to get married.  Oddly, if you’re a Chinese guy, the philandering begins once you get married.  Mistresses are still a show of how wealthy and powerful you are (by those standards, I’m not very much of either).  “The practice of monogamy is only 60 years old in China. Before that the number of mistresses a man possessed was an indicator of his success,” so says Li Yin He in the Global Times.  Liu Zhu Jun (pictured) alledgedly had 18 mistresses, each of them willing to cater to his uniform festish – and will all that sex going on, he still managed to be the Minister of Railways, until his dismissal in February 2011.   
The relative sexual inexperience of a Chinese girl isn’t much of a help when it comes to finding a soul mate.  It’s entirely possible, because I’ve been to lots of weddings betwixt westerners and Chinese women, but for the most part, these couplings seem to fall into one of three categories: 
1) Pregnancy – the couple get married to save face in the light of the impending patter of feet.  
2) Statute of Limitations – there comes a time when a couple live together for so long that getting married seems to be nothing more than a formality.  
3) Pressure from parents – the big one, since most Chinese thinking is about 25 years behind current thinking in the western world, most women would probably be pressured into marrying someone by the parents rather than having to put up with the shame of living in sin.  
Between these three you’d think that either I would have been stupid enough to get a girl knocked up by now, OR, I would be in the same weary long term relationship for long enough that someone would’ve eventually complained enough for me to grudgingly go through the prolonged agony of a Chinese wedding, but no.  Sex education in China is somewhat lacking, especially for a country that has copulated it’s way to 1.3 billion people, but statistics show that teenage pregnancies are on the increase, and, worse, many teachers are dismissing sex ed classes as unnecessary.  In Shanghai, there’s only one helpline, run by Zhang Zhengrong which gets around 1,000 calls a day from distressed teenage girls.  3 percent of the 50,000 callers they’ve had since they were established in 2006 have have three or more abortions.  Another three per cent have had an abortion in an unlicensed (read “cheap”) clinic.  While some parents believe that if their kids don’t know about sex, they won’t worry about it, but the Women of China website tells some horrific stories: 
Two years ago a father in Shanghai rushed his 19-year-old daughter to a hospital after she had given birth to a baby at home. In order not to be discovered by her parents, the young woman secretly delivered the baby herself in the toilet. Then she put the baby in a plastic bag and threw it in a neighborhood garbage can.  The father couldn’t believe it and told me his daughter was a good student, hard-working at school and obedient at home,” Zhang says. “The careless parents didn’t know she was pregnant until she gave birth!”
At the end of last year, the government began it’s “Steps of Growth” programme for high school students, which immediately triggered a mealstrom of controversy.  For a start, there was never any consensus as to what age the kids should start in the programme, and early in 2011, a school established rules that stipulated that boys and girls should stay 50cm apart when they are talking in public – the “distance for civilized communication” was rounded decried throughout the media, when the China Daily bellowed that local schools should follow rules passed by the Ministry of Education rather than making it up as they go along.   
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Things to Do Back Home When…You’re Dead

May 30, 2013 Leave a comment

So we’re almost at the end of my bi-yearly visit to the good old U, of…er…K.  When I was a China newbie there were lots of “you’ve been in China too long when…” lists floating around, so here’s my amusingly compliled counter-culture shock list:


A two hour train ride isn’t really something you consider “long distance”

You count money twice when you withdraw from the ATM
You use “ATM” instead of “cash point” or “cash machine”
All dealings with the bank must be done in person – telephone or Internet banking is completely untrustworthy.  
Three beers a night is “relaxing” and you’re still good to drive
TV is really, really good.
Privacy is a long forgotten concept.  
Everyone is fat.  Like, really fat.  Really huge-ass-don’t-think-about-buying-that-burger-fat.  You fear that women could crush you with their enormous thighs.  
There are less advertisements on TV.  
Newspapers have informed, well written op-ed pieces.  In fact, reading the newspaper is an absolute pleasure.
The China Daily is a shocking 20rmb (yes, I did find a copy in the Manchester train station WHSmiths)
Thrift stores aren’t thrifty enough.
Facebook is completely unnavigable.  What the hell happened to that thing?
No one seems to believe that you are who you say you are or how old you are.  
There’s information on food.  Calories and stuff.  
Who’s been sticking these nasty photos on cigarette packets? 
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Let’s Hear it For Listening

October 9, 2012 Leave a comment

So I’ve taken a radical departure from my usual focus on speaking focussed student-centered classes. Right now, I’m using material from OneStopEnglish, adapting some of their “Ghost’s Guide to London”. This fulfills several conditions of my remit as a foreign teacher in China:

– I’m able to give Chinese students a cultural insight into some of the more interesting parts of London, and cover certain areas of British culture of note (with the right material, you can pretty much do the same with any country)

– I use the classes to teach more colloquial, natural sounding (British) English. One of the things that I’ve taken away from the good folks at PopUp Chinese is that as a teacher, your value lies in the ability to give students something that they can’t get anywhere else. I’ve been teaching since 2007, and probably used every textbook out there, and I’ve never seen anything that teaches what these lesson teach.

– The exercises in the student worksheets easily cover over 100 minutes (possibly even more) that focuses on a seven and half minute mini-documentary – a ratio which gives a highly focussed set of differing exercises that cover reading, writing, speaking and listening. This is hugely important in that we can cover the same recording over and over again without anything getting too boring.

Chinese students go through a lot of English training, and what usually happens, especially in Chinese classrooms is that, more often that not, the only person who’s English actually improves is the teacher. Chinese students these days are obsessed with speaking, unaware that the vast majority of what they are saying comes from deformed grammar patterns, outdated grammar-translation teaching techniques and an apparent unwavering desire to say something that will never cause offense in public. I’ll give you an example:

The chuanr place where friends of mine gather to drink three kuai beers, moan about living in China and generally attend what is an informal group therapy session got kind of famous largely because word spread that two native speakers were hanging out there.

About six months after I started going there – ostensibly enough to try to improve my spoken Chinese – the place turned into a free English class for people who either lived or worked nearby who wanted to improve their English by speaking with foreigners. And it wasn’t long before parents started dragging their exhausted children to the place to be fawned over an American and a Brit who’d drunk far too much beer to be fawning over 12 year old kids out way past their bedtime.

Some of the proud parents had entered their offspring into one of the myriad English speaking competitions that go on around Beijing, and probably the entire Middle Kingdom. After this happened a couple of times, I started noticed that although it was impressive that a 12 year old Chinese girl could answer basic conversational questions that most 12 year old British girls would have problems with, the kids were making exactly the same mistakes as the students that I taught at Wall Street nearly 6 years ago, and which were exactly the same mistakes that my university students are making in my classes this year – which led me to ask a couple questions: If there’s little in the way of error correction in a class, then the classes are largely a waste of time, a second, although outputting as much as you can as often as you can might well be seen as confident steps on the way to fluency, what’s the point of being fluent in Chinglish?

Most of my more difficult students are quick to point out that I’m a native speaker, and grew up speaking my native language, a claim that it pretty outlandish, because I don’t actually do that much speaking. I’m a quiet guy. Quiet to the point that people have wondered if they’ve offended me because when they met me at a dinner a few nights ago, I didn’t speak that much. I like to sit and listen, and for the vast majority of people, sitting a listening to stuff in their native language is what they do. Unless alcohol has loosened my tongue enough to go off on a rant on one of the subjects I’m passionate about, I’m generally content to sit around, ingest and not contribute much to a group conversation. And that’s what a lot of native speakers do actually do. And it proves a rule that speaking, and the holy grail of speaking with foreigners is the key to becoming as fluent in a second language as you are in your first.

Here’s a rundown of what media I’m listening to right now just on iTunes:

– BBC Newshour: it comes a day late, but it’s 50 minutes of news that nicely fits in with my gym commute
– Fry’s English Delight: Stephen Fry’s great guide to various ideosycrantic parts of the English language that even native speakers don’t know about.
– The Complete Smiley: A series of audiobooks adapted by Radio Four from the novels of John Le Carre
– The Paleo Solution: a great podcast from Gregg Everett and Robb Wolf covering low carb diets, workouts, cross-training and everything else in painful geeky biochemical detail.
– Witness: occasionally disturbing BBC series from The World Service
– Documentaries: The World Service do their thing again with reports from all over the world. I’m a BBC geek, by the way.

And that’s just the stuff that I listen to. I’m not even counting the endless hours I’ve stayed up till 3am watching the last season of House, or the season finale of Homeland, or had a marathon Breaking Bad session with a couple of bottles of wine. All of which constitute about 200/250 hours a week of passive consumption of the English language. And I speak the language fluently.

Most of my opinions are formed by listening to interview, documentaries, chat shows and anything else you can imagine that manages to crystalize my random collection of feelings and thoughts into an coherent, manageable verbal form. People steal bits of other people’s opinions all the time, recycle them, personalize witticisms from The Onion or Colbert or TED and make them power a conversation. For some reason, there’s an attitude from Chinese that foreign teachers, for whatever reason, will have the answers that they’re looking for (something that Confucius has a lot to answer for), and feel tremendously let down when we can’t give them any other answer apart from “well, I read the news” or “I read a book”. Consumption of media is essential to language learning – it exposes the listener to new language, new grammar and opinions and allows them to restructure and personalize the language for future purposes, and should never be discouted as being “too easy” or not worth their learners time because it doesn’t teach anything new.

One of the main reasons that I don’t engage my students on any personal level is that they are so painfully boring and so incredibly uninformed and so excruciatingly naive to have a conversation with – they’re empty vessels trying to fill a conversational void with opinions that never offend. The best students that almost any language teacher will tell you they’ve had have been the loudmouth assholes at the back of the class that question almost everything, express their opinions clearly without being overpolite, or treating you like an idiot in their country. It’s a shame that exactly the kind of student that China is betting it’s future on is exactly the kind of citizen that the Chinese government doesn’t want.

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The Chinese Language Learner (A Short Rant)

October 3, 2012 1 comment

My last class with my MBA students came to a shuddering halt when one of the students asked why we were going over an article from one of the Business Spotlight lesson plans that I was using with them. The lesson plan is probably one of the best lessons that you can hope to provide a class with, created by one of the wonderful writers over at OneStopEnglish – these guys are run by MacMillan publishing, so when it comes to teaching English as a second language, they know their shit.

“But I can just go on the Internet and read this article without coming to class,” she wailed in frustration, not actually grasping the fact that even if I was using a business English textbook, she’d be able to go into any bookstore in China and buy the same book herself. It’s like saying that you don’t go to a Michelin restaurant because you can buy the same ingredients at your local market.

Another favorite is for the student to offer a “suggestion” to the teacher – a suggestion that I guarantee they would never give to their Chinese teachers, and that is that the teacher should talk individually to all the students. It’s a suggestion that is quickly destroyed when I point out that if I did this in each class, every student would get a whole two and a half minutes of speaking time with me, and the class is held every two weeks. And the fact that if I spoke with each of the roughly 37 students per class then one student would be “talking” and the other 36 would be doing nothing for the entire 98 minute session. People rarely make suggestions to me after I’ve pointed that out.

The problem lies mostly in the fact that Chinese people use all sorts of false synergisms to justify a certain courses of action (a false synergism, for the uninitiated was described by comic Jo Brand as “All men have bollocks, all men talk, therefore all men talk bollocks”). With language learning, the ideas that merely being the same room as a native English speaker will magically, through some mysterious form of intellectual osmosis, make the non-native English speaker become completely fluent in the language is, and this is the last time I shall mention the word, bollocks. If this particular methodology were correct then all the foreigners in Japan, Korea and China would speak fluent colloquial Japanese, Korean and Chinese because they are speaking with native speakers all the time.

The classroom and the dreaded English Corner is a place where people who speak bad English can get together and feel good about being bad at something. Most of my students will refuse to speak answer a question during class time, but will guiltlessly interrupt my free time with awkwardly phrased questions and sentences. In the classroom, they feel protected, if there are 37 students in a class, then it’s odds-on that you could go the whole class without having to answer a question, but to actually go up to a native speaker and engage in a free conversation, is tantamount to a gazelle painting a bullseye on it’s backside along with the words “all lions are losers” (and before the pedants comment, I know the lioness is the one who does all hunting, but lions make for slightly better gag).

The question I get asked most is “how can I improve my English?”. The question that many people should be asking my is “how can I improve my English without doing any extra work?” The fact of the matter is that the method of study – rote learning and what roughly equates to be a human machine translation simply doesn’t work, but because it all the students have known, they are afraid of abandoning that system merely because it’s the only way they know how to generate a modest amount of improvement. There is a magical, albeit impractical, system that will allow you improve levels of fluency in a matter of months – take all the money that you’re spending on classroom time and go to the US for three months by yourself.

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